tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8353584163305189842024-03-12T21:46:22.636-07:00all type of funAnkur Kapilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00768805932328725187noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-835358416330518984.post-81888142998040088942012-06-18T23:05:00.000-07:002012-06-18T23:06:16.188-07:00Santa in KBC<span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat. </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">( He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify).</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">with us.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatte </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">aaj.</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> Tusi start karo ji.</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000 </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">:<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">A. Punjab</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">B. Punjab</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">C. Punjab</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">D. Punjab<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your time.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa (giggles)</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">use my lifeline.</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Audience poll</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">starts now.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">A. 25%</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">B. 25%</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">C. 25%</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">D. 25%</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">disgust here.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">ne.</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chodoonga nahi aaj </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">isko.</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">using</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> all the lifelines in the very first question.</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa : My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye. </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Phone rings. Banta picks it 'Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adhi raati,???'</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> Kaun Banega Crorepati se.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Banta</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein....</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> #_^_%_#_%_%_&. Ki hal chal he sar ji.</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> bethe hain mere saath aur.................<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Banta </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">(Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gayahoga,</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Aapko sirf tees second .,.............chaliye mein aapko special</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">case</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Banta</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">pehen</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega kya ??.</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">: Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">: Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ..... (he tells him the</span><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">question).<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Banta</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">answer</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe. Iska answer </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Punjab hai</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> lallu.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : oye par ......... (and the clock stops).</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Amitabh Bachchan</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">confidence</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.<br /><br /></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">Santa</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh</span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)"> to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.</span><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died </span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(102,0,204)">laughing...</span>Ankur Kapilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00768805932328725187noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-835358416330518984.post-30886314747098530242010-02-01T04:03:00.000-08:002010-02-01T04:04:21.224-08:00Latest Jokes on Sardar<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; line-height: 25px; "><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; ">Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.<br />Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,<br />Happily they drank & went away.<br />Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya. </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; "><br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; ">********************************************************************</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; "><br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; ">Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..<br />Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:<br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; "><br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; ">********************************************************************<br /></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; ">Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala<br /><br />Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi<br /><br />Kyun...<br /><br />Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Santa-Oye!what R U doing?<br /><br />Banta-Recording this babys voice.<br /><br />Santa-Why?<br /><br />Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi<br /><br />To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya<br /><br />Aur Niche Likha<br /><br />"COMING SOON”<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?<br /><br />FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.<br /><br />SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..<br /><br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying<br /><br />Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver<br /><br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Waiter gives bill to Sardar<br /><br />Sardar: "Take my card."<br /><br />Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."<br /><br />***************************************************************<br /><br />SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; ">Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; ">Dost: Garam pani Q?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold; ">Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153); ">*****************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-weight: bold; ">A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-weight: bold; ">"My father grows beans," said one student.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-weight: bold; ">"My father cooks beans," said another.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-weight: bold; ">Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204); ">****************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0); font-weight: bold; ">Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0); font-weight: bold; ">Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0); font-weight: bold; ">Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102); ">****************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; ">Sardar: Mery dada ny 1857 ke jang main dushman ki tangain kaat di thin.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; ">Dost: Gardanien q nai katin?</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; ">Sardar: Wo pehly he kati hui thin...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0); ">***************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-weight: bold; ">Sardar: Muje E-Mail bnana hy. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-weight: bold; ">Major Rohail: Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51); ">***************************************************************</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51); font-weight: bold; ">Computer Lesson:</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51); font-weight: bold; ">Major Rohail: Plz turn ON your computer</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51); font-weight: bold; ">Sardar: OK kar liya.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51); font-weight: bold; ">Major Rohail: Now Plz click on MY Computer.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51); font-weight: bold; ">Sardar: OK! Kaha hai "AAP" ka computer?<br /><br />***************************************************************<br /><br />Sardar to wife: rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,<br />Wife: Kaun si movie thi?<br />Sardar: Apni shadi ki<br /><br />**************************************************************<br /><br />Sardar ki wife inspecter se!<br />Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye<br /><br />Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:<br /><br />***************************************************************<br /><br />Judge: why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?<br />Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one<br />man every wee</span></span>Ankur Kapilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00768805932328725187noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-835358416330518984.post-55949829084643242242009-08-10T10:08:00.001-07:002009-08-10T10:08:25.066-07:00<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px;">संता दारू पीकर: डार्लिंग आज मैं घर नहीं आ रहा हूँ! गाड़ी का स्टेरिंग चोरी हो गया है!<br />
थोडी देर बाद संता फिर फ़ोन करता है!<br />
संता: डार्लिंग मैं आ रहा हूँ! पहले मैं गाड़ी की पिछली सीट पर बैठ गया था!</span>Ankur Kapilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00768805932328725187noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-835358416330518984.post-55406145670668235592009-08-03T06:42:00.001-07:002009-08-03T06:44:20.003-07:00mast hai<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:12px;">Yamraj asks 3 ladies -<br />Kabhi kiss kiya?<br />1st lady : Shadi se pehle.<br />Yamraj : Chal Nark me.<br />2nd Lady : Shaadi ke baad.<br />Yamraj : Chal Swarg me.<br />3rd Lady : Na pehle na baad me.<br />Yamraj : Chal kamre me!!!<br />—————————<br />Doctor : Aab tabiyat kaisi hai?<br />Santa : Pehle se jyada kharab hai.<br />Doctor : Dawai khali thi?<br />Santa : Nahi dawai ki [...]</span>Ankur Kapilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00768805932328725187noreply@blogger.com0