We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat. ( He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify).
Amitabh Bachchan : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us.
Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatte aaj. Tusi start karo ji.
Amitabh Bachchan : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000 Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are:
A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab
Santa : Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question
Amitabh Bachchan : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your time.
Santa (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to use my lifeline.
Amitabh Bachchan : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.
Santa : Audience poll
Amitabh Bachchan : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now.
After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
A. 25%
B. 25%
C. 25%
D. 25%
Amitabh Bachchan : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your
disgust here.
Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience ne. I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.
Amitabh Bachchan : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.
Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab
Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chodoonga nahi aaj isko. Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.
Amitabh Bachchan : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of using all the lifelines in the very first question.This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.
Santa : My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.
Amitabh Bachchan : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye. Phone rings. Banta picks it 'Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adhi raati,???'
Amitabh Bachchan : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se.
Banta : OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein.... #_^_%_#_%_%_&. Ki hal chal he sar ji.
Amitabh Bachchan : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap
apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath aur.................
Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gayahoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.
Amitabh Bachchan : Aapko sirf tees second .,.............chaliye mein aapko special
case karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.
Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??
Banta : Oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega kya ??.
Amitabh Bachchan: Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.
Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ..... (he tells him the
question).
Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe. Iska answer Punjab hai lallu.
Santa : oye par ......... (and the clock stops).
Amitabh Bachchan : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.
Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.
And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died laughing...
Monday, June 18, 2012
Monday, February 1, 2010
Latest Jokes on Sardar
Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.
********************************************************************
Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:
********************************************************************
Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Kyun...
Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this babys voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: "Take my card."
Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."
***************************************************************
SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,
Dost: Garam pani Q?
Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.
*****************************************************************
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."
****************************************************************
Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:
Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?
Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.
****************************************************************
Sardar: Mery dada ny 1857 ke jang main dushman ki tangain kaat di thin.
Dost: Gardanien q nai katin?
Sardar: Wo pehly he kati hui thin...
***************************************************************
Sardar: Muje E-Mail bnana hy. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha.
Major Rohail: Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga.
***************************************************************
Computer Lesson:
Major Rohail: Plz turn ON your computer
Sardar: OK kar liya.
Major Rohail: Now Plz click on MY Computer.
Sardar: OK! Kaha hai "AAP" ka computer?
***************************************************************
Sardar to wife: rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife: Kaun si movie thi?
Sardar: Apni shadi ki
**************************************************************
Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye
Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:
***************************************************************
Judge: why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every wee
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.
********************************************************************
Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:
********************************************************************
Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Kyun...
Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this babys voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: "Take my card."
Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."
***************************************************************
SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,
Dost: Garam pani Q?
Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.
*****************************************************************
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."
****************************************************************
Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:
Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?
Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.
****************************************************************
Sardar: Mery dada ny 1857 ke jang main dushman ki tangain kaat di thin.
Dost: Gardanien q nai katin?
Sardar: Wo pehly he kati hui thin...
***************************************************************
Sardar: Muje E-Mail bnana hy. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha.
Major Rohail: Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga.
***************************************************************
Computer Lesson:
Major Rohail: Plz turn ON your computer
Sardar: OK kar liya.
Major Rohail: Now Plz click on MY Computer.
Sardar: OK! Kaha hai "AAP" ka computer?
***************************************************************
Sardar to wife: rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife: Kaun si movie thi?
Sardar: Apni shadi ki
**************************************************************
Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye
Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:
***************************************************************
Judge: why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every wee
Monday, August 10, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
mast hai
Yamraj asks 3 ladies -
Kabhi kiss kiya?
1st lady : Shadi se pehle.
Yamraj : Chal Nark me.
2nd Lady : Shaadi ke baad.
Yamraj : Chal Swarg me.
3rd Lady : Na pehle na baad me.
Yamraj : Chal kamre me!!!
—————————
Doctor : Aab tabiyat kaisi hai?
Santa : Pehle se jyada kharab hai.
Doctor : Dawai khali thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai ki [...]
Kabhi kiss kiya?
1st lady : Shadi se pehle.
Yamraj : Chal Nark me.
2nd Lady : Shaadi ke baad.
Yamraj : Chal Swarg me.
3rd Lady : Na pehle na baad me.
Yamraj : Chal kamre me!!!
—————————
Doctor : Aab tabiyat kaisi hai?
Santa : Pehle se jyada kharab hai.
Doctor : Dawai khali thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai ki [...]
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